What do actors, athletes, musicians, and politicians all have in common? CHILD SUPPORT!

The average monthly salary in the Evergreen State hovers around $4,800, with the minimum wage providing approximately $1,600 per month to teenagers dipping their toes into the muddy depths of taxes.

That’s not enough to qualify for a refund, so most teenagers receive parental support in the form of a hand-me-down Dodge Neon and a few bits of wisdom re: courtship and daily survival.

The best celebrity courtroom appearances of 2016

Just the other day, the partners were passing the time with one of our favorite lunchtime activities: playing devil’s advocate for some of Hollywood’s most dramatic legal cases.

Doing so made us realize just how absurd 2016 has been thus far, and we started ranking our favorite courtroom appearances by celebrities from the past year.

Bridget Jones’s Baby is two hours of evidence that British people are too polite

In America, the land of the free, we have more than one TV show dedicated solely to people shouting at each other over paternity tests.

Contrast this with the atrocity that is the most recent book-to-film adaptation of a Helen Fielding story, wherein two rich and dashing gentlemen wait nine whole months to find out who is the father of the frumpy protagonist’s child.

Just how magical are liability waivers and the paper they’re written on?

“ participation in activities and/or use of such equipment may result in injury or illness including, but not limited to, injury, disease, fractures, partial and/or total paralysis, death.”

Sign me up for some of that!

Deriding the ridiculous language of liability waivers is a dinner table favorite, but are these forms really the get-out-of-jail-free card that we think they are? We’d love to don our powdered wigs and shout at you in Latin about the intricacies of legal liability, but we’ve promised Hollywood mockery here so Hollywood mockery is what you're gonna get.