Reason to Consider Divorce #1: When your spouse smashes your face into a cake on your wedding day

Reason to Consider Divorce #1: When your spouse smashes your face into a cake on your wedding day

Family law attorneys like yours truly tend to make more money when many couples are getting divorced. This is because we are in higher demand when divorce rates are high. When more people are getting divorced, more people need legal representation. This can lead to increased fees and billable hours for family law attorneys. It’s just plain logic.

As divorce attorneys in the Evergreen State, we don't advocate for couples to divorce for our own selfish reasons. However, as human beings, we do recommend divorce for couples when there are clear red flags early on in the relationship. So, while we are committed to never giving legal advice in this blog, we will occasionally discuss reasons for considering divorce. Without further ado, we present to you Reason to Consider Divorce #1: When your husband smashes your face into a wedding cake.

Few things are worse than getting your face smashed into a cake

And on your wedding day, no less .

The wedding tradition of a spouse smashing his or her spouse into a cake is a relatively new one, and it is not universally practiced. It is thought to have originated in the United States in the early 2000s, but we don’t know for certain. It has since become popular in other countries, such as the United Kingdom, Australia, and other nations where cakes are a staple in weddings.

There is no definitive answer to the question of whether or not this tradition is good, bad, fun, or a red flag. Some people enjoy it as a lighthearted and playful way to start the marriage off on a fun note. Others, however, find it to be disrespectful and demeaning, especially if the spouse who is being smashed into the cake is not happy about it.

In January 2022, a woman sought advice from a columnist in Slate and shared her experience about her plans for a divorce. She detailed how, during the wedding reception, her husband forcefully grabbed the back of her head and pressed her face into the wedding cake, disregarding her one wish for that special day: for her face not to be smashed into a cake. The woman wed the cake-smasher in December 2021 but hoped to get divorced or annulled by January because of the incident.

Why divorce a cake face smasher?

Reactions to her letter, which went semi-viral at the time, were mixed. Despite the urging of several friends to grant her husband another opportunity and not hastily end the marriage, voices on social media have strongly recommended that she should move on.

On one hand, there are those who believe she should proceed with her divorce. These people argued that what her husband did was appalling. It’s worth noting that the woman had made a specific request for their important day due to her developing claustrophobia after a car accident. So, she panicked when her husband forcibly pushed her face into the cake. Moreover, it was evident that the man had planned this stunt in advance, as there were backup cakes prepared to compensate for the main cake that he intended to spoil using his bride's face.

On the other hand, there were people who urged her to reconsider. They saw it as just a cute moment and although it wasn't very nice of him, they viewed it as just one hurdle in the marriage, believing that she could surely forgive him. But should she?

If she were to ask us for advice as lawyers, we frankly wouldn't advise her on how to fix her marriage. We are not in that business. That said, we would raise several points about this incident, including:

  • Wedding cakes are expensive. It’s wasteful to use cake for such purposes just so you could have a “funny wedding moment.”
  • It takes hours and a lot of money to get a bride's hair and makeup done. As a groom, would you want to ruin your bride’s beautifully coiffed hair and carefully applied makeup?
  • In every relationship, maintaining clear boundaries is crucial, and it's essential never to overstep them — especially if your spouse had a traumatic experience, for which they have set clear boundaries that not even you should cross.

Should you sue your spouse for smashing your face into a cake?

We wouldn’t go that far, but if the face-smash incident was severe enough that it caused serious injuries, then you probably should.

Related reading: Here’s one of the worst pieces of divorce advice ever given (that you shouldn’t follow)

Some unsolicited advice givers on social media said the woman should not just divorce the guy but also press charges for battery. Our advice regarding this piece of advice? Do not follow the advice of non-lawyers on social media.

Navigating a divorce is no piece of cake. If you need legal represention for your family law case in Washington State, Buckingham, LaGrandeur, & Williams is the team to call. Visit our Renton law offices or leave us a message.