Ever wonder if saying, “Sure, I’ll donate sperm,” means you’re signing up to be a daddy with actual dad duties or just a generous DNA donor? Asking someone to be your sperm donor is perfectly legal, but does that arrangement automatically make the donor a legal father? Not quite.
If someone asks you to be a sperm donor, don’t just roll up your sleeve and say yes. Have the awkward but necessary conversation first. Skipping the fine print could land you in a legal mess, like surprise lawsuits or unexpected child support claims. Skip all that, and you might find yourself in a similar situation as Brett Fairley, a Nashville man whose sperm donation turned into a legal spectacle, thanks to a certain woman named Maria Nguyen.
The sperm gift that came with unexpected legal strings
Mr. Fairley and Ms. Nguyen signed a supposedly ironclad agreement before moving forward with their arrangement. After Ms. Nguyen was successfully impregnated, Mr. Fairley returned to California, but stayed in touch and was encouraged by his family to be involved in his child’s life.
Before the birth, Mr. Fairley got a tattoo of his daughter’s middle name, Love, and flew back to be there when she arrived.
After the baby was born, Ms. Nguyen decided she wanted to turn their “donor arrangement” into a full-on family sitcom. Mr. Fairley, however, made it clear he was sticking to the original script: donor only, no dad roles. Predictably, Ms. Nguyen was less than thrilled by his refusal and threw a bit of emotional shade his way.
Later, Ms. Nguyen asked to stay in Mr. Fairley’s Airbnb while looking for a place, and he let her live rent-free for months. Mr. Fairley stayed involved, posting on Facebook and driving a 14-hour roundtrip to attend their daughter’s baptism. Trouble started when he refused to wear matching Halloween costumes, and Ms. Nguyen allegedly blocked his access to their child for a time.
Things worsened when Ms. Nguyen demanded child support, forcing Mr. Fairley to pay $10,000 upfront and $750 monthly. After Mr. Fairley began dating someone, Ms. Nguyen disapproved, rejected the idea of meeting his girlfriend, insulted her publicly, called Mr. Fairley a “deadbeat dad” on social media, and even denied him Father’s Day visits.
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Then came the ultimate bombshell: paternity tests showed Mr. Fairley was not the biological father at all. Two separate tests confirmed zero biological relation. Mr. Fairley said he always believed Ms. Nguyen when she insisted he was the only possible dad. Despite the twists, he says he was happy to be a dad, biology aside.
It’s decided: No child support for this donor
Turns out, Ms. Nguyen allegedly knew she was already pregnant when she struck the deal with Mr. Fairley, which is something he claims he never expected her to lie about. For years, Mr. Fairley says he played the “villain” so Ms. Nguyen could be the “victim,” all to keep the peace. But in his words, the real victim here is the child caught in the middle. With proof now supposedly in hand, Mr. Fairley’s message is clear: “See you in court, Ms. Nguyen.”
So, the moral of the story is to never underestimate the drama that comes with DNA.
What family law attorneys in Washington State wish everyone knew about sperm donations
Washington State generally protects sperm donors from parental obligations, provided there’s a clear, written agreement. This agreement must spell out that the donor has no legal parental rights or responsibilities. Without that agreement, things get messy. Courts might consider the donor a legal father, with all the joys (and bills) that come with it.
In an ideal scenario — one where you don’t need your attorneys on speed dial — a woman finds the perfect sperm donor, and everyone’s happy. The man agrees, hands over the goods, and moves on. It sounds simple, but it’s rarely that simple as this case shows.
Ms. Nguyen seemed to have different plans. She hoped to build a family with Mr. Fairley, who was crystal clear he was only in it as a donor. The only fatherly commitment Mr. Fairley seemed willing to make was tattooing the child’s name on his arm.
If you’re thinking about donating sperm, don’t just rely on good intentions and a tattoo
In these cases, clear, thorough, legally binding agreements protect everyone involved — donor, recipient, and child alike. Without such agreements, you might find yourself in the awkward, unwanted position of defending your “gift” in court instead of celebrating new life.
If you find yourself tangled in a sperm donor saga or any paternity puzzle, don’t go it alone. LaGrandeur & Williams has the savvy to handle tricky child support and paternity cases with finesse. Give us a call before your gift turns into your next courtroom drama.