The ABCs of NDAs (Part 2): Confidentiality in the business of relationships

The ABCs of NDAs (Part 2): Confidentiality in the business of relationships

Love is blind, but lawyers aren't. When relationships fail, the fallout between the exes can be messy, public, and chaotic. Nondisclosure agreements (NDAs), ideally drafted by lawyers, can swoop in to save the day. They won’t save the relationship, but they might save your privacy and dignity.

Last time, we covered the basics of NDA. In the second part of this series, we’ll tackle why some couples choose to use NDAs as legal lifelines.

Relationship NDAs aka the kiss-and-don’t-tell contract

Being in a relationship means revealing more of yourself or sharing secrets with your significant other, whether it’s your girlfriend, fiancé, or Tinder date. But when things go south, animosity between exes can make maintaining privacy a challenge. Because privacy has become a scarce commodity nowadays, one wrong move could result in the details of your personal life being plastered all over social media. So, while it might seem inconceivable to ask your partner — committed or otherwise — to sign an NDA, sometimes it’s necessary.

For some couples — specifically celebrities, politicians, and anyone else in the public eye — an NDA serves as a shield against unwanted exposure. Celebrities and high-profile individuals often use NDAs to protect their reputations from being tarnished by disgruntled ex-partners. It also provides peace of mind. Knowing their private life won't become a public spectacle post-split can help such couples feel more secure. With an NDA, they can bask in their romance without worrying about their dirty laundry being aired in public if things don’t work out.

Not to be confused with a prenup

We've all seen divorces get ugly — accusations flying, skeletons coming out of the closet, and everyone taking sides. Adding an NDA to the mix can prevent some of the nastiness from spilling out into the open.

While prenuptial agreements get all the attention when it comes to tying the knot, NDAs are underrated when it comes to premarital planning. Unlike prenups, which focus on financial matters and asset protection, NDAs are about keeping your secrets safe and off social media or blogs. Our semi-serious advice? Don’t date bloggers and social media personalities.

Related reading: Saying I do (or I don’t) to a prenuptial agreement: the basics

So, to be clear: an NDA should not be confused with a prenup. However, both NDAs and prenups can be crucial for those tying the knot or deciding to cohabitate. If you’re contemplating whether your significant other should sign an NDA or a prenup, remember that these two legal documents play different roles in your love story. The NDA is the bodyguard for your secrets, while the prenup is the accountant for your assets.

When drafting any agreement, consider:

  • What constitutes confidential information: Spell out what constitutes confidential information in your NDA. This could be personal secrets, private conversations, or even those cringe-worthy karaoke nights you'd rather keep under wraps.
  • The duration: Specify how long the confidentiality should last. This could extend well beyond the honeymoon phase, ensuring your secrets stay secret for the long haul.
  • Including penalties: Outline the consequences for breaching the NDA. Think financial penalties or other agreed-upon repercussions.
  • Getting legal advice: Always get a lawyer involved to draft your NDA to ensure it’s legally binding and enforceable, not just a fancy piece of paper you wave around during arguments.

Silence is golden

Let’s be clear: celebrity NDAs are in a league of their own. These aren’t the typical agreements an average person might ask for unless there's a significant risk of private details leaking to the public. The ultimate goal is to ensure that the quirky habits and odd behaviors of celebrities — which the general public finds endlessly fascinating — remain within the four walls of their mansions.

This brings us to some of the most seemingly outlandish clauses that celebrities make people sign in their NDAs:

Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise

The ex-couple imposed severe penalties for “private disclosure or repetition of confidential information” on their household staff. That means, if you were a former employee of Tom and Nic's household and decided to make a quick buck by gossiping to the press or writing a tell-all memoir, you would have ended up penniless.

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie

Given their immense popularity and the high-profile nature of their divorce, it’s no surprise that Brangelina had a dedicated team ensuring that everyone around them signed NDAs. This included hotel staff and various other individuals they and their family encountered. Fun fact: this interesting task was often performed by a bodyguard, whose job was to physically and mentally guard the Pitt-Jolie clan.

Raven-Symoné

Having been a celebrity since childhood, Raven-Symoné is always on the lookout for potential tattle-tales in her relationships. She even had her now-wife sign nondisclosure paperwork a few months into their relationship.

Jack Harlow

He’s no Leonardo Dicaprio, but rapper-singer Jack Harlow still has his lawyers acting like he’s A-list material. He asks women he hangs out with to sign NDAs, essentially telling them, “Don’t tell your friends about our chats.”

Do you need an NDA in your love life?

Probably not.

But if, for any reason, you feel the need to draft an NDA — even if it’s not about preventing your texts from ending up in GQ, People, or Better Homes and Gardens thanks to a bitter ex — you should consider consulting a lawyer. And remember, we're the team to call for all your family law needs and if you want to chat about NDAs. Leave us a message.