Divorce often comes with a heavy dose of negativity. Talk about splitting up and images of drawn-out court battles, emotional turmoil, and arguments over the toaster oven spring to mind.
In Washington State, divorcing couples commonly seek clarity on issues like the impact of adultery, custody arrangements, pet ownership, and the fate of wedding rings. These are typical concerns in the divorce process. However, in all our years of experience in divorce law in the Evergreen State, we've noticed a curious absence of inquiries about divorce presents or divorce rings.
But what if we reframed the conversation around divorce? In this article, we explore some lighthearted trends we'd like to see become more commonplace when it comes to splitting up.
Divorce registry: From “I do” to starting anew
The concept of a wedding registry is a time-tested tradition. Couples create a wishlist of items they need to set up their new life together, and guests get the joy of contributing to this exciting fresh start. If you’re about to tie the knot, the prospect of receiving practical gifts almost makes up for the massive party you're throwing.
But what happens when that "new life" ends in divorce? Suddenly, the matching towels Aunt Linda got you and your ex-spouse become a point of contention during asset division. Wouldn't it be wonderful to have a similar support system in place as you transition back to singlehood? Enter divorce registry.
Think about it: the friends and family who supported your union might be the very ones who can offer the most help as you rebuild your life as a single person. A divorce registry wouldn't be about claiming rights to that old toaster oven, but rather about creating a clear and respectful way for loved ones to offer practical and emotional support during a difficult time.
This is how we imagine a divorce registry would look: a list of things such as gift certificates for therapy sessions, help with moving costs, or even a subscription to a meal delivery service. These gifts acknowledge the challenges of starting over while expressing genuine care and support.
Full disclosure: the idea of a divorce registry is not our idea, but we are fully on board with normalizing it.
Divorce ring: Bling with a new meaning
Another long-standing wedding tradition is the exchange of rings, a symbol of commitment and unity. When that commitment ends, what happens? Emily Ratajkowski, who famously has good post-divorce habits, champions the idea of divorce rings. And we think she may be on to something.
In 2023, after finalizing her divorce, she expressed a desire to empower single women starting over. Divorce rings, she suggests, can be a symbol of resilience and a reminder that leaving an unhappy marriage doesn't define you as a failure. Emily’s idea isn't just about having a piece of jewelry; it's about reframing the narrative around divorce.
It's a fresh perspective on a familiar tradition. While wedding rings signify the start of a union, a divorce ring could represent closure, personal growth, and the exciting possibilities of a new chapter.
Since her divorce from Sebastian Bear-McClard, whose infidelity led to the split, Emily’s post-divorce behavior has been remarkable. She seems determined to challenge the narrative surrounding divorce, particularly for women.
What exactly does a divorce ring symbolize, you ask? Unlike engagement rings that signify commitment, divorce rings offer a chance for personal expression, mainly “I’m single/divorced.”
Related reading: Cheating scandals in the celebrity sphere: A few reminders for those who were cheated on
Dating your jujitsu instructor post-divorce
There are certain unspoken rules associated with divorce. Society often expects a period of mourning, after which you're expected to wade back into the dating pool. But there should be a more optimistic way to approach this chapter where dating is concerned.
So, another divorce tradition we’d like to see normalized is divorcees dating their jujitsu instructor post-divorce. Of course, it doesn’t have to be a martial arts instructor; it could be a yoga instructor, tennis coach, or Spanish tutor. When you're recently divorced, the world is your oyster.
Take Gisele Bündchen, for example. After her divorce from Tom Brady in 2022, she found solace in her longtime jujitsu practice — love blossomed with her instructor, Joaquim Valente. Gisele’s divorce from the former quarterback was a result of the couple growing apart. And we completely salute her approach to navigating life post-split.
Studies even back this up. Research shows that "repartnering after divorce is linked to better psychological and physical health outcomes," particularly for mothers, as it helps alleviate the stress that comes with single parenthood. The Brazilian supermodel, who is now a single mother, may or may not have been aware of such studies. In any case, she’s doing it right.
It goes without saying, make sure you’re not dating a guy who is dating other women. If this is a concern you have and thus may feel hopeless about finding love given the occasional shadiness of the dating scene, we know a Facebook group you can join.
When it comes to divorce, one tradition that will remain timeless is seeking advice from a divorce attorney. If you require legal guidance for your divorce in Washington State, reach out to LaGrandeur & Williams. Visit our Renton law offices or drop us a line.