One of the questions you may ask when you get bitten by a dog is, “Why me?!”
In truth, that serves no purpose because no one ever really knows why dogs do what they do.
Should you get bitten by a dog in the Evergreen state, ask pertinent questions concerning the dog’s behavior, its owner, and where the accident occurred to determine liability.
But what do you do if something other than a canine bites you? Since the animal kingdom is wild and diverse, here are a few instances of non-canines unleashing the nasty on celebs.
Foul-mouthed chef not suing TV producers for bird bite
Puffins may be adorable and vulnerable but to Gordon Ramsay, superstar chef and swear word aficionado, they’re delicacies to be hunted and preyed on. In one episode of the British cooking series The F Word, Chef Ramsay “sky-fished” for the cute flyers in Iceland. This was for an installment that featured the Icelandic tradition of eating the vulnerable creatures raw.
Before he was able to make a full meal of the poor puffin, it bit him as it struggled to be freed. Despite being bitten, the celeb chef did not sue the network or anyone involved in the show’s production.
However, the scene did not fly with many viewers, some of whom were delighted that the master chef/curse master got bitten by the bird before it bit the dust.
Gordon had the last laugh, ultimately biting the bird back and claiming that its meat was “smooth on the palate” and “tasty” — something the puffin probably could not have said of its slaughterer.
Latina sensation not blaming phone company or whiskered sea mammals for attack
While holidaying in South Africa, Shakira — luckily — chose to take photos of a sea lion instead of, say, a stingray or a jellyfish. Sea lions are known to be nearsighted and the one that caught Shaki’s eye may have interpreted the act of being photographed as being fed fish or being handed a microphone to sing, which caused it to attack her.
Regardless, the encounter with the torpedo-shaped mammal left her shaken. The offending sea lion probably hasn’t shaved or cut its whiskers, leading it to roar in fury when the “Wherever, Whenever” singer decided to snap its photo.
Shakira did not blame anyone or anything — not the BlackBerry Company for making phones that sea creatures may mistake for fish, not the South African seas for nurturing such camera-shy/camera-averse mammals.
Former NYC mayor and billionaire not suing Staten Island Chuck for biting him
Not everyone gets the opportunity to know what the hands of one of America’s most distinguished men taste like. “Staten Island Chuck” didn’t waste this opportunity when he was given the chance.
In 2009, Chuck, a groundhog that used to live in the Staten Island Zoo, was woken from sleep to participate in the annual Groundhog Day Ceremony as the titular groundhog that predicts the early arrival of spring.
Reacting like any normal creature who has been woken from sleep, Chuck bit the hand of the other main character in the ceremonies, Mayor Michael Bloomberg. Due to this incident, Chuck was not invited to participate in subsequent years.
The former mayor had no one to blame but the tradition and did not press charges against the zoo or the sleep-loving furball.
TV show host has absolutely no one to blame for mistaking a shark for a stick
It’s rare for anyone with a brain cell to mistake a shark for a stick. But host and radio personality Ryan Seacrest did one time.
While swimming in the Pacific Ocean in Mexico, Seacrest felt something swim by him while he was eight-feet deep in the water. The stick-like marine mammal that zoomed by was allegedly a sand shark, a shark species that is said to pose relatively little harm to humans and radio personalities.
Luckily, the sand shark that Seacrest encountered was in a hurry and only had time to take a quick bite of his toe.
Seacrest did not sue the resort where he was staying, which may have been where the shark lived. There were also no reports of Seacrest being traumatized from the Seascare.
Dog bite laws like those in Washington state are pretty much cut and dried, but cases involving other types of animals are a different beast. What to do about groundhogs or puffins or any creature with a beak or bites? You’d be better off consulting personal injury attorneys like Buckingham, LaGrandeur, & Williams.