There’s something about the blank box of a Reddit post that makes people want to spill their hearts to complete strangers. That something is called internet anonymity. From time to time, we find ourselves wandering over to Reddit’s r/Divorce forum to pluck some of these gems from obscurity. Honestly, it’s partly because we’re looking for a little entertainment and partly for the comforting relief that these are not our battles to fight.
Still, our professional habits die hard, so we’ve handpicked a few r/Divorce posts to dissect, offering our lawyerly thoughts.
The Redditor who reminds other r/Divorce Redditors to be kind to themselves
One thing we don’t often talk about in these blogs — and if we’re being honest, not much in our offices either — is that divorce can be tough on the couple. Not to sound like a total stickler for rules, but most of the time, we prefer to get straight to business. That leaves little room for warm, fuzzy moments of sympathy, which means we rarely get to play therapist.
In this particular thread, the posters seem to have a collective understanding of what they're going through, with emotional themes of guilt, sadness, hurt, anger, and resentment popping up like clockwork. It’s almost a “divorce starter pack” of emotions. The original poster (OP) chimed in with a bit of advice: be kind to yourself. Divorce is hard, and you’re handling it with grace and strength.
That, in essence, is her gentle admonishment to the rest of the forum posters, who are going through the various stages of post-divorce grief. They’re feeling like their hearts have been torn to pieces, minimizing their anger toward their exes’ perceived betrayals, being in complete denial, lacking an internal sense of validation, craving closure, and losing the will to survive sometimes. It’s a whole emotional buffet, all rolled into one gigantic emotional burden.
If there’s one takeaway here, it’s that support — even from online strangers with handles like LostAtSeaSally and nomnomlover23 — can sometimes be surprisingly wise and comforting. But, if you can swing it, real-life support (preferably from an actual therapist) is your best bet. Even these Redditors would tell you that.
The divorcee who loves the post-divorce single life
The OP’s post title says it all: “It’s a bit sad, but I love my life.”
To which we say, good for her.
It seems the OP recently ventured off to an out-of-town event solo and had a blast. What made the experience extra special was that she didn’t have to worry about a companion (i.e., her ex) complaining about the cost, the crowd, or any of the other out-of-town event annoyances that her ex probably used to harp on.
Freedom is definitely a top-tier perk of getting divorced, that is, once you’ve finished sorting things out with your divorce lawyer. Achieving blissful post-divorce vibes, however, isn’t exactly a given. In most cases, it’s a long road filled with gray areas, asterisks, and a hefty dose of contentious matters relating to child custody and asset division. But if freedom or the lack of it was a major issue in the relationship, walking away from a marriage can absolutely feel like a reward.
The divorcee who hates her life now
This one’s the polar opposite of the previously mentioned poster.
OP’s post-divorce life isn’t exactly one for the highlight reel. Divorce hit her like a ton of bricks. She feels her ex was “way better than what she deserved,” and that’s why she settled for his supposed cheating. Now, he’s in a new relationship with someone their kids actually like. To top it off, her children told her she’s boring.
None of this is doing wonders for her self-esteem, libido, emotional expression, or budding career as a workaholic.
We’ll just go ahead and say it: this person could use a ton of support, ideally, not just from Redditors. What she’s going through would bring anyone down, and while it’s not our style to play Pollyanna, we’ve seen it before. People going through divorce often feel inconsolable, dejected, and hopeless. And they’ve earned the right to feel that way.
Divorce depression is real. Mentally surviving a divorce, especially one with some serious drama, takes a lot of work. While Reddit can be a decent space for letting out all those deep, dark feelings, real work has to happen, and much of it needs to happen offline. And some classic pieces of advice definitely apply:
- Get support – And we’re not just talking about friends and family. Divorce support groups can offer a safe place to process everything.
- Develop hobbies – We know, it sounds like one of those “life hacks” you see plastered across Pinterest, but hear us out. OP might find that picking up something that takes her mind off work and family stress could be just the ticket. We highly recommend jujitsu. You never know when your new passion for throwing people around could get you back in the dating game, or at least help you blow off some steam.
And if kids are involved, you really want to talk to a family law attorney. If OP feels like she’s in a legal bind due to an imbalance of power (and the whole kids-loving-the-ex thing isn’t helping), a family law attorney can help her figure out the next steps.
With LaGrandeur & Williams representing you, you can rest easy knowing your case will be handled with thoughtfulness, compassion, and privacy. It’s like posting on Reddit for legal advice but with actual lawyers who know how to get you the outcome you deserve. Visit or call our offices in Kent to get started.