Weddings are joyful, stressful, magical, and (sometimes) messy legal affairs. From venue deposits to prenups, there’s no shortage of legal considerations. Sometimes, drama happens before the couple walk down the aisle.
A recent column in The New York Times featured a bride contemplating uninviting her best friend to her wedding. The best friend, who was the wife of the groom’s brother, had agreed to be a bridesmaid for the upcoming wedding. But in a cruel bit of bad timing, the best friend got divorced days before the wedding. The break-up, though mutual, wasn’t amicable, and the groom’s family made it clear to the bride that her best friend shouldn’t participate in her wedding.
The bride could have simply uninvited her, but she didn’t think it was going to be that simple. She wondered, can univiting someone to your wedding have legal consequences?
We’ve encountered plenty of emotionally charged disputes around weddings and marriages. But what does the law say and doesn’t say about the uninvited list?
Uninviting someone to a wedding — is it illegal?
The short answer is no.
But that’s for most cases. No contract binds you to keep someone on your guest list. Unless, of course, you did have your guests sign a contract, but who does that?
What are the possible exceptions? Let’s say you paid in advance for your guests’ booking and travel expenses, and they agreed to pay you for them. If you accepted money from a guest, you might be opening yourself up to an unlikely but possible small claims dispute.
Is it rude? Probably. Is it illegal? Not usually. So, if you’re going to rescind your wedding invite, be considerate. Do it early and gracefully before people start booking flights or buying custom gowns. Which is a good segue to….
How should you uninvite someone?
Beyond the legal one, there’s the question of etiquette. As attorneys who deal with family conflicts on a regular basis, we suggest you treat this with the same care as a legal negotiation. That means:
- Be clear but kind.
- Be honest without being cruel.
- Don’t ghost. (Ghosting almost always escalates things.)
Clearly explain the reason behind your decision, particularly to family members or close friends, to avoid further tensions.
And remember: Put it in writing. Not a subpoena, mind you, but a thoughtful text or email can help avoid “he said, she said” confusion later.
Who has the final say on wedding decisions?
Another source of pre-wedding conflicts is the question of who gets the final say, from seating arrangements to song lists.
Unless contracts are involved (e.g., vendors or venue agreements), no one has legal authority over wedding choices except the couple themselves, or, more accurately, the person(s) footing the bill.
But let’s get real. Weddings often bring out unsolicited opinions like bees to a bouquet. You’ll have to navigate diplomatically between well-meaning friends and family.
Ultimately, who gets to choose? Let’s break this down:
- Who’s invited? The couple (ideally in consensus).
- The size of the cake? The couple, unless Mom’s footing the fondant bill.
- What will the bride wear? The bride. End of story.
- What will the groom wear? His call, even if it’s a bolo tie.
- Who gets uninvited? The couple. (But beware the family fallout.)
Can family conflict over a wedding become a legal matter?
Most wedding disputes aren’t legal matters, but there are exceptions. As family lawyers, we’ve seen:
- Lawsuits over canceled weddings (when vendors aren't refunded)
- Prenuptial disagreements
- Family law matters due to tensions arising from family issues, such as parental interference, inheritance drama, or custody concerns (if kids are involved)
What began as a small squabble over seating may signal bigger legal problems down the road. Better to have your family law attorney on standby.
Weddings are emotional, but legal boundaries still apply
Weddings are celebrations of love, but they can also stir up uncomfortable family dynamics, old resentments, and sometimes, legal gray areas. Should you need legal advice in evicting a guest or navigating prenup conversations, LaGrandeur & Williams is here to help.
We’ve been helping families through life’s most personal legal matters for decades. Although we cannot help you choose your wedding cake, we can help you make informed, confident decisions without unnecessary drama.
Contact us today. We’ll help keep your happily ever after legally sound.