In Japan, there’s a concept known as “weekend marriage,” or "shumatsukon,” and it’s exactly as delightful and/or bizarre as it sounds (depending on how you view marriage). It's a marriage, but without all the usual trappings the rest of the world has come to expect.
And what an inspired idea it is. You stay married, but skip the part where you have to cohabitate, share a bathroom, or endure the slow psychological erosion caused by listening to each other chew.
We know you have questions. Does absence really make the heart grow fonder? Does it make divorce less likely? We don’t have all the answers, but our family law background might just allow us to give you the lowdown on what such an arrangement could entail.
What is a weekend marriage, and why does it sound like a major plot in a Netflix rom-com?
Weekend marriage is exactly what it sounds like: you're married, but you live separately and meet up only on weekends, much like you would for a standing yoga class or with your therapist. In Japan, it's seen as a practical way to sustain both individuality and romance. Meanwhile, we’ve seen Western equivalents for years: commuter marriages, trial separations, even couples who live apart on purpose and call it "giving each other space."
Think of it as scheduling your relationship the same way you'd book a weekend spin class. Only instead of sweating profusely in Lycra, you’re hopefully still making googly eyes at each other across a dinner table.
Now, before you start drafting up a "weekend-only" marriage agreement, a light legal note: Washington State, in all its progressive glory, does not yet recognize marriages that only exist on Fridays through Sundays. In the eyes of the law, you’re either married or you’re not. There’s no "half credit" for effort.
How weekend marriages flirt with the line between commitment and conscious uncoupling
At first glance, a weekend marriage might look like the perfect compromise: commitment with breathing room. But dig a little deeper and it starts to feel like soft separation, or an emotional prenup where you’re mentally moving furniture out, one piece at a time.
Legally speaking, weekend marriages are about as ambiguous as "we’re on a break." Are you happily married? Trial-separated? Practicing for a solo Netflix subscription?
We've seen it play out: "We're just taking space" often translates to "We're just one brunch away from filing for divorce." And when you leave that kind of ambiguity hanging long enough, it tends to end up in our legal offices, somewhere between "I swear it was temporary" and "they took the cat."
What happens when love’s part-time schedule goes full-time toxic?
Weekend marriages might sound idyllic until things start to unravel and the legal mess begins.
First, let's talk assets. If you both maintain separate homes, who gets what when it's time to split? Is it 50-50? Does whoever kept the better kitchen appliances win? (Fun fact: Washington State's community property laws have opinions.)
Throw kids into the mix and it gets even messier. Custody discussions turn into logistical nightmares: "So you get little Timmy Monday through Thursday, I get him weekends and every third Wednesday?"
And don't forget support obligations. Just because you only see each other on Sundays doesn't mean you get a discount on alimony.
We can already foresee scenarios where one spouse says, "She moved out for the weekend and never came back — with the dog, the car, and the family Spotify account."
Should you try a weekend marriage, or just admit it’s time to lawyer up?
Weekend marriages might work for some people. But for others, they're nothing but an elaborate, slow-motion break-up with occasional brunch dates.
If you find yourself making color-coded schedules just to see your spouse or arguing over who gets the “good” weekends, it might be less about preserving your marriage and more about avoiding the inevitable.
Related reading: How these wives’ investment in their marriage paid off big time
So consult us. At LaGrandeur & Williams, we've seen every flavor of love, loss, and lawyering up. You may be contemplating a trial separation or a divorce, or maybe you just need to understand your rights if your part-time partner suddenly goes full-time AWOL. Regardless, we can help you navigate the messy middle — just leave us a message or call our offices in Kent.