Picture this: you’re planning your dream wedding, only to find out your beloved has cold feet — or worse, they’ve called the whole thing off. Can you seek justice in court for your shattered dreams and empty wallet? Let’s take a closer look at whether the law has anything to say about being left at the altar.
The "breach of promise to marry" era: A legal blast from the past
Once upon a time, in the 1800s, you could indeed sue someone for breaking off an engagement. It was called a breach of promise to marry. If your partner ditched you, you could haul them into court and seek damages for your heartache and, yes, the harm to your reputation. After all, in the old days, being jilted wasn’t just painful — it was downright scandalous.
Fast-forward to the modern era, where courts have largely decided they don’t want to referee love affairs gone wrong. Most states, including Washington, have abolished these lawsuits. Marriage is now viewed as a deeply personal matter, and the courts are generally not in the business of forcing people to walk down the aisle (as fun as it might sound to drag someone into marriage and litigation).
Can you blame a third party? Enter "alienation of affections"
Let’s say your engagement fell apart, not because of cold feet, but because someone else stuck their nose in. Maybe a meddling in-law or a charming third party ruined your happily ever after. Could you sue them for torpedoing your relationship?
This is where the legal concept of “alienation of affections” comes into play. Certain states still allow you to sue someone who, through malicious means, made your partner lose affection for you. It’s like suing a homewrecker but in legalese.
Here’s the rub, though: Washington axed alienation of affections back in the 1980s. So unless you’re willing to move to North Carolina or Mississippi (where these suits still exist), you’re out of luck. In Western Washington, no one can be held legally responsible for ruining your relationship — except maybe your ex, but not in the courts.
Financial fallout: Can you recover your wedding expenses?
We all know weddings are expensive. So what happens when you’ve sunk thousands of dollars into your big day, only for it to be canceled? Can you at least get compensated for the financial blow?
Possibly! If you and your ex had a clear agreement to split costs for nonrefundable wedding expenses — like that venue deposit or your custom dress — you might be able to bring a contractual claim. This type of lawsuit is less about broken promises of love and more about, “Hey, you owe me half for that fancy cake we’re not cutting.”
However, unless there’s a clear financial agreement in place, courts usually don’t want to touch wedding drama. You’ll need rock-solid proof that your ex should share the financial burden with you.
So, what’s the verdict?
In Washington, can you sue someone for not marrying you? In a word, no. For the state, alienation of affections is a relic of a bygone era. Love may be messy, but Washington courts prefer to keep it out of the legal system.
That said, if there’s money involved or you’ve suffered genuine harm, there’s still a chance the law can come to your rescue.
At LaGrandeur & Williams, we’re here to help you navigate even the most complicated legal issues, whether they involve a broken heart, a broken contract, or something more serious. If you’re looking for skilled legal assistance in Western Washington, especially in family law, message us or give us a call. We may not be able to mend your broken heart, but we can certainly help you protect your rights.
Because, in the end, when it comes to love and the law, it’s always good to know where you stand — even if it's not at the altar.