Social media is that double-edged sword that allows us to connect with loved ones, share special moments, and peek into the lives of friends and celebrities that we think are our friends. But for certain couples, social media can spell disaster with a capital D.
Relationship disasters certainly occur in a social media platform like Snapchat, which is known for its disappearing messages feature. While it might seem like a harmless app — being mostly used for silly selfies that vanish into the digital ether — it’s also a favorite platform for chronic oversharers.
Consider this headline that caught our eye: A Saudi groom divorced his wife two hours after their wedding when he found out she shared photos of their private ceremony with some of her female friends on Snapchat. Turns out, their prenuptial agreement stated that the bride could not share pictures of their wedding ceremony via social media apps like Snapchat, Instagram, or X (formerly known as Twitter).
While this might seem like a rare, extreme case, it highlights a bigger issue: how social media oversharing can impact a marriage.
Think about it — when was the last time you read a headline about a couple whose marriage was strengthened by social media? We’ll wait for your answer. In the meantime, let’s examine the menace that Snapchatting poses to marriages.
Fact: An uncontrollable Snapchat habit can snap a marriage out of existence
Social media can be a boon to a relationship, as it allows couples who may spend a lot of time apart to connect virtually. On the flip side, social media use can become compulsive and, consequently, negatively affect a couple’s relationship. Here are some dangers of too much social media use in a marriage:
- Privacy woes: Marriage is about building a life together, but it also involves respecting each other's boundaries. If your spouse constantly shares details of your relationship, your arguments, or even intimate moments online, it can result in a major invasion of privacy.
- Constant performance: Social media often paints a rosy picture of life, filled with filters and carefully curated moments. Constantly documenting your marriage on Snapchat can put a strain on your relationship and make it feel inauthentic — just ask the Saudi groom.
- Oversharing breeds drama: Like most social media platforms, Snapchat encourages user engagement — and where there’s drama, there’s sure to be lots of engagement. If your spouse constantly airs your dirty laundry online, it can escalate arguments and make it difficult to resolve issues privately.
- Jealousy and insecurity: Social media can easily fuel feelings of envy and self-doubt. Seeing your spouse constantly interacting with others online, or if their snaps seem flirtatious, can create unnecessary tension in your marriage.
Is excessive Snapchatting enough grounds for divorce?
Not in most cases. Too bad for the Saudi couple, the bride didn’t read the fine print in their prenuptial agreement.
However, oversharing on Snapchat can be a symptom of deeper marital issues. There might be poor communication between the two of you, or one of you might have a persistent craving for validation from social media connections.
Here's what you can do if your spouse is a Snapchat addict:
- Sit down to have a chat (instead of via Snapchat): You could tell your spouse that their Snapchat habits are making you feel uneasy. Explain your need for privacy, especially on Snapchat and other similar platforms where anyone — even strangers — can be privy to your most private affairs. Set boundaries about what you're comfortable with being shared online, even if they’re using social media apps where posts disappear 24 hours after posting.
- Consider couples therapy: If your spouse’s Snapchats are driving you to the brink, it might be time to call in the pros. A couples therapist might be able to help you get to the bottom of your partner’s Snapchatting compulsion.
- Take a social media break: You could also suggest a social media detox to your spouse. You might just rediscover the joys of real-life conversation and maybe even remember what you actually look like without a kitty filter.
The takeaway
If you're dealing with a spouse with a problematic Snapchat habit, remember to chat about it instead of snapping at your spouse. But if the problem goes deeper and you need a legal remedy to your marital difficulties, our law firm is here to help. At LaGrandeur & Williams, our family law attorneys can help. Call our law offices in Kent, or leave us a message.