Whether you display your musical virtuosity in the garage or in your local bar, you have no control over how your performance will be received. And we don’t mean by the general public or music critics at The New York Times or Pitchfork.
We are not even referring to the reception that vocal powerhouses like Mariah Carey or Adele get when technical problems derail what would have been flawless lip-sync performances.
We are referring to gigs that hit closer to home, like in the neighborhood karaoke joint, where music usually makes people come together, but in the following personal injury cases incited rage and a couple mugshots.
Song about Satan hits a nerve
Heavy metal fans are some of the most passionate people you will ever meet. Wisconsin buddies James Mischler and Cyrus Kozub discovered the fact a little too late.
After botching a karaoke rendition of ex-Black Sabbath vocalist Ronnie James Dio’s “Holy Diver,” the pair found themselves in the crosshairs of a drunken Kyle Drinkwine, who accused the duo of mocking the song.
Unamused by the critique, Mischler snapped back by poking fun at the heckler’s ‘big gaudy crucifix,’ which resulted in a brief foot chase, a seriously injured karaoke sensation, and battery and disorderly conduct charges against Mr. Drinkwine.
Bars are obligated to reasonably secure their customers’ security, so injured patrons can sue a bar for negligence if they can prove that the establishment continued to serve heavily intoxicated customers that caused fights leading to injuries.
The aversion to percussion that led to a greasy situation
Few would confess to being a fan of the xylophone. In fact, some people are so repulsed by it that they’d do anything to make it stop.
One such person is Florida native April Encarnacion who, upon hearing a xylophone in her Fort Walton Beach home, made her displeasure known to an unnamed man who refused to quit.
Unbothered by Encarnacion’s disdain for his sweet sounds, the man continued playing, leading April to express her outrage by dousing the persistent percussionist with cold cooking grease.
A person accused of domestic battery can claim self-defense, standing one’s ground, consensual confrontation, or mutual combat as a defense. Unfortunately for Encarnacion, the man was found still drenched in fat when the police arrived. And since her aversion to percussion does not make a plausible defense, she was charged with misdemeanor battery.
Sting song incites violence and summons the police
Sting has contributed much to music, including countless catchy pop songs that speak universal truths about the human condition (and some basic truths about stalking). In the case of live-in couple Byron Haynes and Yakeme Moore, a Sting song was the perfect soundtrack for a fight.
The Florida couple were having a spat when Haynes decided to play Sting’s “If You Love Somebody Set Them Free.” Unmoved by the soothing sounds, Moore took to smashing things in their home.
The spat escalated into a full-blown assault. Moore pushed Haynes against the wall, ripped his shirt, and bit him on the lips. This left the panicked Haynes with no choice but to send an SOS to the world so he could be saved from his partner’s outrage.
He of course called...the cops.
Moore admitted to the charges but claimed to have acted the way he did out of love. But to the police, the message is clear: These two won’t be dancing in fields of gold anymore. Not with Moore charged with misdemeanor domestic battery and locked up in jail.
If you’re so inclined to perform for a home audience or a rowdy bar, expect one of two things: a promising musical career or a barroom brawl. If it results in the latter, call the personal injury lawyers at Buckingham LaGrandeur & Williams. We’ll make sure you get favorable reviews and stay out of the slammer.